Today was a really difficult day and it is not even 3pm. My son's ADHD and ODD are clearly not being properly managed, medication-wize or any other and I'm at a loss. We have a few things happening soon that I really hope will be of some help, but I'm also hesitant to put too much faith in them.
In a few weeks I'm going to start attending a weekly parenting group for parents of kids like CW with ADHD and other issues. If nothing else it will be nice to hear that others are going through this too. But what would really be nice is to get some concrete strategies for WTF to do when CW has his out of control meltdowns and starts beating people up. Also, CW is going to start a behaviour group that is suppose to help him deal with things without aggression. I just hope it is effective as well. Finally there is the option of kicking up the dosage on his meds which I think is a last resort but maybe it is time to use it. Previously I'd thought the side effects weren't worth it for the benefits but maybe they are, I really don't know.
This morning, my dad offered to accompany AK and I to Centreville, a small amusement park that requires a short ferry ride to get to. CW had spent the night at my parents house and was to meet AK and I at the ferry docks at 9:15am.
I should have known that my dad, overly punctual as he is, would arrive early and have to wait for us if we arrived just "on time" I tried to be early but there was a subway delay, and by the time AK and I arrived, exactly 2 minutes BEFORE our scheduled meeting time, all hell had broken loose.
My dad was holding CW while he screamed bloody murder, and my dad had 2 big bloody gashes thanks to CW kicking him on both shins. My dad, who is on blood thinners, was bleeding profusely and looked like a mugging victim and all the ferry staff were coming over bringing first aid kits and making sure we were ok.
My dad explained that CW kept wandering off and wouldn't stay in sight and that is why he was holding him. CW doesn't react well to being held obviously but of course it is no excuse for kicking his grandfather in the shins. We eventually got my dad cleaned up and CW calmed down but then I didn't know what to do. We decided that my dad would take CW home while AK and I went along to Centreville because it wasn't fair for her to not get to go just because of his bad behaviour. So off we went, but I couldn't enjoy it and just wanted to race through everything so we could get home and make sure everyone was ok. Thanks GD for my mom who intervened and had CW at her office and then brought him home a little while ago.
I am so upset right now I just don't know what to do. I just hope the dog is a good thing for CW and not just something that will stress us all out and make matters worse. I've locked myself in the bathroom and the kids are watching Treehouse so I can get it together.
I know things will get better and there were many contributing factors today. CW had a sleepover at the grandparents and probably didn't sleep enough or eat right. Also, he didn't get his meds this am at all, I forgot to send them and then was planning to give it to him when we met up early this morning. Clearly if I ever forget his meds again I will have to get them there no matter the difficulty. But right now? I want to just hang out in the bathroom for a while...mother of the year, I am not!
Kathy McPherson
mcpherson_kathy@hotmail.com
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